brave or just bored?

when i told people that i had booked a ticket for new zealand and didnt have a job or even a visa, i received a very narrow range of comments. they were generally comments of "i am sooo jealous" or "oh you must have saved for so long, good for you" to "you are so brave, i could never do anything like that." my answers were typically "yeah, you should be", "no actually i didn't", and "well, actually it was quite easy." some rather pompous answers in my opinion. but the fact is that coming here and leaving everything behind was one of the easiest things ive done. sure the two days after i booked the ticket i had a mini panic attack, but to quote a third grade teacher, it was easy peezy lemon squeezy.

when you don't love your job, you rent a room from grandmas, you drive a grandma car, you dont have the money to buy a house, when the economy sucks and you are about to lose said job, when you are independent, you dont have a romantic relationship that you have to be in the country for, when you have some pesos in the bank, and you are sick of not having a vocational direction, it suddenly becomes extremely easy to hit the purchase button.

i was not brave or courageous or even that free-spirited; i was just bored. i had seen enough of other places and heard enough stories from others to know that i was missing out on a lot. i am not the type that wants to learn through school or training seminars; i want to get out and do it. i dont want to get my masters in child development, i want to be a nanny and spend hours planning weekend trips rather than studying for an exam. i dont want to spend time trying to claw my way to the top by kissing up to the boss and completing paperwork on time, i want to have an educated conversation with a kiwi on the best way to support ones' self while traveling gypsy-style across the country.

eventually i suppose i will have to return to the states and find a ho-hum job until either marriage or winning the lottery saves me from renting from the grandmas again. but id rather be a travel show host or work on a cruise ship or SOMETHING more exciting than saving up for a mortgage or busting my booty to earn a 27 cent raise an hour. i am too young and too full of life to settle for the typical american dream - a white picket fence and 2.5 kids in the suburbs while being a soccer mom in a mini van. maybe in a few years, but not until i have seen more of this world and experienced what it has to offer....